Individuals who love each other create a bond together. This attachment allows us to stay devoted and be dependable in the relationship. People in a relationship with a secure attachment know one another profoundly. They are able to soothe, comfort, and relieve the distress even when there are differences or disagreements. In fact, challenges can bring couples closer together in a secure attachment.
Couples who look for therapy often have an insecure attachment. The cause of this can be due to difficulties with trust and the inability to express vulnerabilites or emotions with people who are improtant to us. This creates a negative cycle pattern in the relationship. This negative cycle starts to have almost a life of its own. The couple becomes anxious or withdrawn and in a crisis.
The intent for couples therapy is to bring two people closer together. We can do this by having awareness of the negative cycle. You may start to realize that underneath the anger or fear is a desire to feel supported, loved, and comforted. In couples therapy you will be guided to seek out what your needs are more honestly and through this create a foundation of connectedness and intimacy in your relationship.
What is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?
EFT is usually a short term (8-20 sessions), structured approach to couples therapy formulated in the 1980's and has developed alongside the science on adult attachment and bonding to expand our understanding about what is happening in couple relationships and to guide therapists. In the last fifteen years, Dr. Johnson and her colleagues have further developed and refined the model and completed numerous studies. EFT is also used with families and individuals. A substantial body of research outlining the effectiveness of EFT now exists. Research studies find that 70-75% of couples move from distress to recovery and approximately 90% show significant improvements. For more information please check out http://www.iceeft.com